Using

I let the anger take me over, I let the anger consume every part of me till I couldn’t see myself anymore. I had blacked out. I was walking in the streets and I had blacked out. The adrenaline was like a drug. My heart was beating fast I could hear all the voices behind me, shouting screaming along with the sounds of the cars and all the lights , all the lights. The honks and the smiles and the disapproving looks and the encouraging looks and the disgusting looks. I blacked out again, where are we, what time is it, how long have we been marching ow, I look around me, I see cars. Why isn’t everyone on the streets? “get on the streets , get on the streets” I want to make everything go away, how do I make everything go away, what can I do to make everything go away. It’s raining now, and I’m exhausted. I’ve been running for hours, but the water makes us feel a little better. I open my mouth and I let my body feel the rain pouring down on me, beginning to get heavy with my clothes, heavy with my mind. A white girl walks up to me, she offers me an umbrella, we begint to chat, . In the middle I stop. I’m not in the rain to chat. Immediately, my defense begins to come out and I walk away from her. No I don’t walk, I run away from her and I scream at the top of my lungs. I don’t remember what exactly I screamed but I screamed from the top of my lungs, and I felt better. Next to me,, a girl with a megaphone, we start to synchronize ou chats, so that others around us can say the same thing, she is dressed in beautiful colors, I am dressed in black, I don’t want to introduce myself, I don’t eve want to know her name. Right now , she is just a body, and we are in a war, and we are marching to defeat our enemies. How long have we been marching. I can feel my body start to fail. I am cold and shaking from the rain and the wind. I want to throw up. I try to calm down and make conversation with some people I recognize. Im even more anxious. I can’t feel my legs anymore. I try to run, I can’t run anymore. Where are we marching to? When will this stop. We had no destination, no plan. I see a cart beside a subway station and I sit down n it, I try to catch my breath, and I let the rain fall on me. I don’t think, I don’t try to think. I just let the rain fall on me. I’m inside the subway station. My phone is soaking wet, my purse is soaking wet, I can see the time. We had been out here for about 5 hours. My phone shuts down. I go home. I need to run more. I’m not in shape. I need to learn how to shoot a gun. I need to take self defense classes. I’m not prepared. I need to study the enemy more. Strategize. Smarter not harder. Im exhausted. I can barely move my body, I want to throw up. I sleep it off. I smoke it off. After a day, i’m ready for the next march.